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Victoria Trans Captivus

Insanity

like invasive roots wends

amongst the broken minds

of men

behind steel doors

like scared children are

these proud and bold

men from afar

stripped of choice

and love, and friends

the evil upon us

does descend

the worst of habits and thoughts

and ways

becomes the way

they pass their days

a poison mist

engulfs and blinds

there is only one light

that through it shines

some find their shields

of peace and calm

the love of Christ

a healing balm

and for the rest

we must pray and love

that they too will find

God's endless love

-- pdm 2008

Lament for Belle

arms are wings

vision clear

sparkle of sun

off waves not near

soar and turn

upon winds are mine

horizon's all

there is endless time

lifting away

from pain bound soil

freedom at last

from earthly toil

someday I will join you

beloved one

and fly together

past the sun

-- pdm 2008

My Nightmare

Columns huge and tall

reaching to the stars

and to the depths

heavy

their weight in the air

crushing all sound

Massive, dark

created not by man

as far as the eye can see

pathways suspended

in between

Like fleas among elephants

our size it seems

walking, searching endless

in this fever dream

-- pdm 2008

For permission to reproduce the writing, or to reach the writers, please contact VHJR.

The Game

There's a new game in town

Come on let's play

I'll strip you of everything if I may

Your job, your car, your house, they're mine

I'll take them all in the quickest amount of time

You won't miss these things very much

It's your friends and loved ones I must touch

This game will infect you to the bone

And I promise to never leave you alone

You'll lie, cheat, and steal to feel me in your vein

The guilt, sorry, and pain will nearly drive you insane

You'll beg and plead for the game to be over

And pray to God for the day when you were sober

This game, I promise, you will never win

Because it's fixed by your new best friend Heroin.

-- Kimberly

Blackened Heart

A blackened heart from years of abuse

Stomped on, thrown away, and used

No one knows what its felt

Having to put up with what its dealt

People always take only what they want

And leave the rest behind to rot

What's a blackened heart supposed to do

When no one's there to love it too

-- Kimberly

Like a child clutching a broken toy

embraced by concrete and steel

the sounds of the world penetrate not

the anti-world

sucking back the life force

immersed in a viscous fluid

maintained, yet smothered source

a test of will, of strength

when it's over

what shell will be left

will it be weak, dragging, carrying

the last twinkle of life energy?

or will it be cast off

freeing a new, larger and stronger being?

-- PM, 2008

Untitled

our only peace here

our only possession

sleep, sleep here in the warden's keep

our promise of freedom

like death's hand upon our shoulder

turning us away from the pain

leading us into the darkness

the unknown

the blessed unknown

sleep, sleep, our private embrace

our loving mother

protect us, hide our face

sleep, sleep, the promise of death

the deliverance forever

from this impossible place

sleep, sleep now my brothers

God's gift of sanity to us all

the promise, the promise

sleep, sleep, deliver us away, far away

our peace, our lover

own us all, don't forget us

sleep, sleep, beloved cherished sleep

-- Peter, 6-28-08

The Past

What a perfect view.

Nothing gets missed.

Free in a sense.

To explore every detail.

A whole new outlook.

An impossible situation.

Love enters with a crash.

Longing like a splinter.

Apathy like a pillow.

So easy to fall into.

So hard to get out.

Never comforting.

Constant questions.

Answers not enough.

Everything just out of reach.

Hoping to learn.

Wanting to live.

Our biggest curse.

Your best asset.

Not to be forgotten.

Just forgiven.

Peace.

-- T.B.

Yellowstone Sky

I sit here and wonder why

That I cannot touch the sky.

I served my county - I love so dear

With dedication, honor and no fear.

I was taken down by people with fear,

No loyalty, no honor, no courage,

Nobody they held dear.

I will have my dignity

This nobody can take.

I worked, I planned

For people's sake.

No money, no gifts do I take.

I have been judged by my pears,

I sit and wait,

That my judgement is not too severe.

My live will change,

This I know

Semper Fideus

Is all I know.

Time will come

And time will go.

Some day again

I will

TOUCH THE SKY!

Written by

Ray Fogg Jr.

Hancock County Jail

July 30, 2008

Printed by C. G.

Then There Was You

If there was real happiness

then I never knew

Until I opened my eyes

and then there was you

My days were all filled

with confusion and dread

I fought and I struggled

with the demons in my head

I longed for a lover

to share in all that I do

One day I opened my eyes

and then there was you

I cried and I pleaded

with the sweet lord above

To bless me just once

and introduce me to love

I prayed for an angel

and for all my dreams to come true

I opened my eyes

and then there was you

I had waited and asked

for some loving arms

And someone to ease my pain

and help me feel calm

For these blessings I wondered

what I had to do

I just opened my eyes

and then there was you

I never believed

in fairytale things

Hearts and flowers

and Valentine cupid things

If there was romance

then I never knew

Until I opened my eyes

and then there was you.

Somehow my life changed

and it spun me around

I was given the chance

to enjoy the love I had found

I'm finally happy to have pure love

so sweet and so true

And all this is mine

cause now I have you

-- D.S. 2008

Yellowstone Sky

Cruel Reality

Here I sit in HCJ

Trying to get through yet another day

What will I do to pass the time

I think I'll sit and think about my crime.

If found guilty I'll be going for a ride.

But if not I'll be on the other side.

I've been stripped of my dignity, family

and friends.

How can I look in the mirror again.

If the judge should have mercy on me

I swear to be the man I should be

So here I sit my future unknown

God will you please just let me go home.

-- D.S.

Mistakes

Here I sit broken hearted

Thinking of this life I have started

I'm doing my best and trying to change

For all of my problems I am to blame

I could try and pass the buck

Or blame it all on dumb luck

I have come to this

At the end of the day

Doing drugs I must refrain

For it was me who f----- up

Now I'm locked up in HCJ

-- D.S.

One Love

Staring out the window

of my six by nine cell

Feeling alone is my personal hell

My thoughts are so clear now

I now know what to do

For when they release me

I'll be running home to you

To raise my children

and continue my life

While hoping someday

to make you my wife

-- D.S.

My life is so sad

My heart is so mad

I just lost the best friend

I ever had

If you should see him

Please send him home

For my body is lonely

without its soul

-- D.S.

I Love You Girl

You don't have to worry

You don't have to fret

I'm out of your life now

I assume I'll be easy to forget

Confused and dazed

My mind is full of craze

You're on my mind

And there you will forever stay

I'll never forget you

Not even for one day

Even after I'm gone

My spirits will always say

I love you forever Girl

On my mind you will forever stay

I love you Girl

More and more each and every day

-- David Hudson

Dedicated to Patrick Willigar

The Setting Sun

Every junkie's like a setting sun

beautiful and varied

yet each of them short lived.

Each band and puff of color

like multiple halos shining;

the desperate acts of the addict.

The earnest pleas for God's attention

so much more powerful

than the average prayer.

How I envy the mid-day afternoon sun,

with so many hours left to burn.

Why was I destined to fade so fast?

Could it be, the black sky so bleak,

for me nigh on its way;

twilight cuing my departure?

Or should I dare have hope against hope,

that I can transform

and rise anew on the 'morrow?

-- Patrick

Decisions

I really want to go and twist that throttle

But should I really, I just finished this bottle

I say f--- it

Cuz I feel like superman

Or at least I did until I hit that van

I lived through it

But the driver's son died

Now I feel so empty inside

For if I thought he would not be in the sky

Ane I would not be doing this time

I deserve all I should get

For I am just a pile of sh-it

I made a bad decision I can't take back

Now my life is on the wrong track

Because I drank that bottle and twisted

that throttle

-- DSP

Waiting

Here I am locked up again

Awaiting trial so my time can begin

What did I do to be here this time

I have been accused of a terrible crime

My wife and kids miss me so bad

So here I rot, here I sit

The system makes me just want to quit

But if I do they have won

And I lay down and wait a new day to come

So here I sit locked up again

Awaiting the Day for my new life to begin

-- DSP